Bananas, Bananas, Bananas

The banana plant is not actually a tree. It is the world's largest herb, close cousins to lilies, orchids and palms. Like many wonders of the East, such as spices, silk, Algebra, and horned headed Mithras, the Western world owes it's introduction to bananas to Alexander the Great.
However, I was told this was wasn't a graduate thesis, so I'll get to the point.
Bananas….. Hate 'em.
I want to love them. I hear rumors that bananas are one of the tastiest things on the planet. The world's MVP of fruits. Hells bells, they even come in nature's perfect packaging.
But I can't do it. I can't eat banana anything. I wish I could. Whenever I order smoothies at juice bars, I tell them to hold the banana. The counter person always looks at me as if I'm insane and points out: "It's not going to be creamy if there's no banana in it."
"Yeah," I always respond. "I know. But I don't like bananas." "But--I don't--what's wrong with you?" They always huff as if I just told them their baby was kinda funny looking.
Back in the Rustbelt, I used to frequent a juice joint called "Liquid Planet." Out of their thirty two smoothie selections, only one was naturally made without bananas. And it was aptly titled: "The Mother to Be." I could never order it with a straight face.
That's why I make smoothies at home.
This has been a life long condition of mine. There was never a time that the banana and I were friends. Somewhere in the cluttered basement of my parent's house in Cleveland, Ohio, there is a dog eared copy of Dr. Seuss' "All About Me" that I filled out when I was five. Under the section of foods I don't like, BANANAS is scrawled boldly in black crayon. When unabashed carnivores find out I'm a vegan, their comments are usually pretty unoriginal. My personal favorite is: "So how come you're not skinny?" Because, you know, us vegans eat nothing but nuts and berries... My least favorite is: "Okay, so say you're stranded on a deserted island and there's nothing to eat but fish. Would you eat it then...?" At that point in the conversation, I usually remember that I left the oven on and have to rush home right away. But thinking about it in this context, I really hope there are some effing mango trees on this deserted island so many meat eaters are convinced I'm gonna wind up on one day. Because if all I got are bananas, I'm screwed.

-Meghan Louise Wagner

I Gave It The Dog

‘Who wants to go for ice cream cones?’ No interest in that for this junior poindexter. There’s the flat bottomed cone melting soggy w/ its pressed sugar design & smell & disintegrating paper texture when the ice cream interacts w/ it on any Midwestern hot summer day & night. Sugar cones looked better but leaked steady from the bottom & held the scoop most precariously. If the scoop didn’t fall off right away, then each drip hinted at impending disaster. The scoop never just fell off, it always catapulted onto shirt, pants & shoes in evil trajectories. Nothing but one big mess. I contented myself w/ a quick lick around the edges before sharing the rest w/ black Labrador Mac. He was well suited to eat cones, with his self-cleaning fur coat & his ability to lick food off of any surface w/out contracting lockjaw. My ice cream epiphany occurred one day at a south suburban Dairy Queen reading the menu from the back seat of a two door cougar w/ an arm around Mr. Mac. What about this Banana Split? Three scoops of ice cream & three sauces – tried & true strawberry & chocolate & exotic pineapple too, all nestled between a split banana & served in a paper boat, w/ a Spoon. No looking back. After that, scenes of my tearful spotted peers attempting to finish a cone w/out catastrophe never dissuaded me from marching up to the window w/ confidence & order “One banana split please & a small vanilla cone for the dog!’ MC

Rockin' Granma!

Allrighty...I get to be the first food phobia commentator.
My phobia goes back to my grandmothers kitchen. Usually people have warm fuzzy thoughts about grandmas and kitchens. But not me. My grannie's idea of cooking was boxed mac and cheese and canned veggies. Her veggie of choice was canned french cut green beans. Served warm out of the microwave w/ a generous dollop of margarine, or as we say in the south "Oleo". I didn't understand all canned veggies have that sort of gray, soft, mushy quality to them. Grandma never did take the time to find more delicious options for us. She was a busy lady- the only grandma I knew who worked. Plus she had way more important things to do like- gambling, smoking, cursing, and driving like a bat out of hell. I'll take that kind of grandma any day. It was definitely worth the torture of the green beans.

Avanti Back in the Blogging Game SOON

We love Twitter & Facebook & now it's time for Avanti to write longer sentences again.

We have a talented team of creative Balderdashers in & out of the kitchen --- Many enjoy putting pen to paper prosely poetic.

Our first Avanti Group Blog is on the subject of FOOD Phobias.

Stay Tuned Coming Soon

Our First Blog is bound to be as HOT as our Picture

Feb 2009

Your Avanti Valentine Intimate Dinner @ Home

Avanti

Valentine's Intimate Dinner

Order your Valentine Dinner to take home for a special evening of romance & flavor

Valentine @ Home Menu

Of course we'll be open at Avanti Cafe for dine in dinners as well!

The take home dinner romantique

APPETIZER - Amuse Bouche

Lavendar heart Avant 10+i toast point

w/ port, shallot, cherry & cranberry & thyme jam

SOUP

Cream of mixed mushroom aphrodesia soup

AVANTI VALENTINE PIZZA

Red vermouth & golden oil sauted apples, pears, Italian parsley & basil w/ red onion & garlic

Butternut squash, roasted tofu, red peppers & lemon zest

Rosemary ricotta & feta

SALAD

Mixed baby greens w/ Blood orange honey Dijon vinaigrette & café candied nuts

DESSERT

Hot cocoa

Chocolate rose tartletts

Choose vegan or vegetarian option

$21 per person

Chefs' Choice Valentine Libations 15% OFF

Allagash White Ale 7.85

Dom Fouet Crémant de Loire Rosé France 25.50

Varichon & Clerc Blanc de Blanc France 17

Clos de la Chapelle Muscadet France 2006 16.15

Santa Lucia Chianti d.o.c.g. Italy 2005 22.95

Mont'Albano Merlot Refosco Italy 2006 17

All beer and wine 15% OFF w/ your Valentine Pizza dinner purchase

++++++

Soy Luz Candles

Special Valentine Scents

15% OFF

Guaranteed to make LOVE Happen!

+++++++++

Avanti World February Every Tuesday

Travels w/ the Maya $11.50 from 11 AM to 9:30 PM

Bart’s CHIAPAS, Mexico

Tuesday, February 3

San Cristobal Bread Soup

Plantain Croquettes

Yam and Orange Dessert

Veronica’s YUCATAN, Mexico

Tuesday, February 10

Lime Soup

Veggie skewers with a papaya tomatillo sauce

Papaya almond cake

Bart’s SAN BARTOLO, Guatamala

Tuesday, February 17

Corn & Onion Soup

Chili Relleno Casserole

Champurado (Chocolate Coffe Drink)

Veronica’s TAZUMAL, El Salvador

Tuesday, February 24

Red kidney Bean Soup

Pupusas

Maria Luisa Cake

Eric Von Brewski's Wednesday Beer & Pizza Pair

Lunch & Dinner

+ Eric's Beer & Pizza Pairs +

$13.50 from 11 AM to 9:30 PM $10 pizza only

One Eyed Pizza

w/ asparagus, white cheddar & baked with an organic egg

+ Paulaner Salvator Dopplebock

Germany

Wed Feb 4

The HOT Bloody Tongue Pizza

w/ Habanero cream sauce smothered w/ Mexcian cheese blend, jalapeños, serranos & smoky dried chilis

+ Port Brewing Wipe Out IPA

San Diego

Wed Feb 11

Hemp Sage Pesto Pizza

Colorado State Green & Gold Pizza w/ butternut squash & sage pesto

+ Victory Brewing Prima Pils

Pennsylvania

Wed Feb 18

The Sweetie Pie

w/ lemon zest, organic crema, white pepper, figs,

cashews, kiwi & whiskey

+ Maui Brewing Coconut Porter

Maui

Wed Feb 25

January 2009

Avanti World January

Every Tuesday

All Over India

$11.50 from 11 AM to 9:30 PM

Brahmin Veronica’s PUNJAB

Tuesday, January 6

Dal Maharini – Punjab lentil soup

Sabzi Pulao – Vegetables & rice w/ ginger chili

Mango Lassi – Mango yogurt drink

Yogi Bart’s BENGAL

Tuesday, January 13

Cholar Dal – Bengali lentil soup

Khatte Baigan Bhaji – Sweet & sour eggplant

Narkol Nadu – Coconut cardamon drink

Maharincess Veronica’s GOA

Tuesday, January 20

Tomato Coconut Soup

Cauliflower Pulao – Cauliflower stew w/ rice

Moira – Plantain croquettes

Swami Bart’s SOUTH INDIA

Tuesday, January 27

Dal Phokali – South Indian lentil soup

Vangi Batata Bahaji – Eggplant & potatoes w/ rice

Indian Rice Pudding

Eric Von Brewski's Wednesday Beer & Pizza Pair

Lunch & Dinner

+ Eric's Beer & Pizza Pairs +

$13.50 from 11 AM to 9:30 PM $10 pizza only

Extreme Garlic & Quintuple Mushroom Pizza

w/ Portobello, porcini, oyster, enoki & shiitake, GARLIC,

goat cheese & fresh mozzarella

NEW vegan option available

+ St. Bernardus Christmas Ale Belgium

Wed Jan 7

The Purple Pizza

w/ beer caramelized onion, gorgonzola, roasted beets

& edible petals

+ The Bruery Black Orchid Ale Orange County

Wed Jan 14

Mustard Pie

w/ white cheddar, toasted coriander mustard

& house made cucumber pickles

+ Schneider Organic Edelweisse Germany

Wed Jan 21

Up in Smoke Pizza

w/ smoked cream, in-house smoked cheese,

beer braised onions & greens

+ Unibrue Ephemere Ale Canada

Wed Jan 28

Avanti November Events

Avanti World November        

Every Tuesday          

The Exotic Isles of Europa                           

$9.50 for lunch from 11 AM

$11.50 for dinner from 5 PM

Bart’s CRETE, Greece

Tuesday, November 4

Fasolatha - Hearty lima bean tomato soup

Moussaka - Eggplant Casserole

Kataife - Semolina Cake

 

Veronica’s LAS ISLAS CANARIAS, España

Tuesday, November 11

Potage de berros - potage of watercress

Chickpea stew w/ potatoes & mojo sauce

Brazo de Gitano - chocolate and banana sponge roll

 

Bart’s IZMIR, Turkey

Tuesday, November 18

Spicy Red Lentil Soup

Anatolian Tabbouleh with Nuts and Dates

Pistachio Ice Cream

 

 

Eric Von Brewski's Wednesday Beer & Pizza Pair

Lunch & Dinner

+ Eric's Beer & Pizza Pairs +

$11.50 for lunch from 11 AM       $13.25 for dinner from 5 PM

 

 

 

The Purple Pizza

w/ beer caramelized onion, gorgonzola, roasted beets

& edible petals

+ Chimay Blue

Belgium

 

Wed Nov 5

 

Extreme Garlic & Quintuple Mushroom Pizza

w/ Portobello, porcini, oyster, enoki & shiitake, GARLIC,

goat cheese & fresh mozzarella

NEW vegan option available

+ Salvator Dopplebock

Germany

 

Wed Nov 12

 

The HOT Bloody Tongue Pizza

w/ Habanero cream sauce smothered w/ Mexcian cheese blend, jalapeños, serranos & smoky dried chilis

+ IPA Ale Smith

San Diego

 

Wed Nov 19